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In a previous post https://simplegestures.wordpress.com/2007/07/01/my-sock-puppet-has-a-hole-in-the-toe/ from July of 2007 I expressed my concerns and fears about where my family belonged. We were considering moving closer to downtown Austin, away from the ‘burbs where Lane & I grew up…

I am torn between the people and place I love and where I live and work. I feel called, I feel a reason for devoting my life, my family to downtown Austin and the university. But, I live 20+ miles away in Cedar Park and work out west of town near the lake. I’ve been reading “Breaking the Missional Code” and it’s a little formulaic for my tastes. For example, when it brings up the need to love the people to which you want to minister, it says you must learn to love the people first. I agree, but I’m asking the question, “Am I following God’s will if I’m forcing myself to learn to love a people?” I have nothing against the people of Cedar Park and think I could learn to love them and to love what they love, but as the Bass article points out I have a real struggle with this “hyper-individuality” and consumerism that seeps into the core of life here in the suburbs. It effects me just as much as it does my neighbors.

So, what do I do? Do I follow my heart and devote myself fully to the people of downtown and the university area? At what cost? I so long for the mess of life lived in tight community with the other and don’t know where to throw my hat.

The decision was made for us, we couldn’t sell our house and so we were “stuck” in the ‘burbs. Life is curious in the ways we’re forced through sometimes unwanted, or even unpleasant seasons to be recreated. That’s one of the things I love about my live, that I’ve been witness to my own rebirth in so many ways.

Tonight…
I’m sitting on my front porch watching the children run up and down the sidewalk in eager anticipation of tonight’s Halloween party.
I’m listening to the laughter of the moms as they prepare the haunted house.

Time marches on like the dutiful soldier, and I grow older and hopefully the edges are beginning to soften. It is in these moments of life settling into a beautiful rhythm that I feel most alive.

I

realize

the

noise

surrounding

me

is

what

I

long

to

hear.

We are in this together, each family striving to love our kids and each other as best we know how. It is messy, it’s jilted and sometimes awkward…which means it must be real. Once again, I have been forced into another rebirth, and another new season of life. Once again, God has given me what I desire, but it’s done in His way, not mine. I am thankful and blessed…

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4 Comments

  1. Amen.

  2. Wow. Really cool to read this. Funny how much has changed since 2007.

  3. yes, life is funny.

  4. I GET IT, I GET IT. been there. yes. beeeeeeeen there.


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